You are such a fucking badass dude! You dominated that cornfield with no farmers in it. Now you are about to obliterate that road no one is driving on. And yes, we all know about the trailer park you just wiped out. Seriously dude, trailers don't even have foundations. I saw some drunk frat guys push one over once. Call me when you demolish a tall concrete building. This nickel-and-dime shit in the Plains States is for fairies. I never see a tornado-related headline which reads "Tornado Fucking Dominates Camp Lejeune as Marines Fire Guns in Wrong Direction and Shit Their Pants". You are the Fredo of the natural disaster family. Other disasters have kick-ass headlines like "Earthquake Kills 300,000 Haitians" or "Tsunami-Related Deaths in Indonesia Top 200,000" or the front page of the Pompeii Chronicle which read "Who Pissed Fucking Poseidon Off?". If you went to natural disaster prison you would be Hurricane, Tsunami and Earthquake's bitch. Tsunami would make you get a set of tits tattooed on your back and Hurricane would turn you out to the Typhoons for a carton of Kools. You've got that piece of straw through an oak tree trick down, but its nothing more than a card trick when you consider that other disasters are just killing the fuck out of people and not apologizing for shit. Shit or get off the pot already.
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