That is Pretty Incredible that You are Able to Walk your Dog Through Downtown Chicago with No Leash

Wow! You can just take your dog wherever you go with no leash at all? Really, he just stays right there by your side? He doesn't go after people or try to run away? I am completely impressed. Your dog-training abilities are truly outstanding. I'm really buying into your whole "Dogs are born free and who am I to tether them?" philosophy. You just walk down crowded city streets with an animal and have absolute trust that he will remain by your side and not participate in any mischief. I am going to stand here and stare for a moment and marvel in your confidence and humane treatment of animals. Hey, a squirrel just ran by. Your dog is chasing it. Into the street. Your dog just got hit by a beer truck. Um, looks like your dog is dead. Yep. Fuck you.