If There is a Downside to Crack, I've Yet to See It

There are a lot of distinguished crackheads in operation in my neighborhood. So I feel I speak knowledgeably on the subject. And I'm here to tell you, I can't see the negative side to crack addiction. You are never at risk of having a bad time if there is a crackhead in your vicinity. Crackheads are always animated as hell and having a good time. Whether it be smoking the actual crack; staring into the Andromeda Galaxy just after exhaling a fresh hit and awaiting an invite onto the interstellar starship cruiser which patrols Andromeda; trying to find a merchant who will convert $5.11 of pennies, nickels and dimes into a "solid" $5 bill; walking disjointedly; sleeping out under the stars; staying up all night and not being tired in the morning; going on frequent scavenger hunts for unknown items (Seriously, have you ever NOT had fun on a scavenger hunt? If you have then you are a fucking Commie red bum); just running; talkin' shit to trees; pawning stuff from the construction site that you accessed by throwing an old rug over the razor wire and hoisting shit out to your other crackhead buddy that you had to chase down and beat the fuck out of for trying to run away with the shit you already threw over the fence; explaining to the police how that bitch Cheryl tried to take your shit; not having to go to a job you hate all day long; befriending local canines; the list goes on and on.

In this modern era of media overkill, multi-tasking, ADD epidemic, stock market volatility and Lady Gaga gender confusion.....wouldn't it be nice to be able to break your existence down into only two fundamental pursuits? 1) Getting to crack; 2) Smoking that crack. No micro-managing bosses, no bills to pay, no thoughts as to what is for dinner, no harpie fucking bitch always inquiring into your business, no goddamned iPhone update lines to wait in and certainly no fucking 401K plan to monitor as it shits the proverbial bed. You just get that rock by hook or by crook, you smoke the ever-living fuck out of said rock, and then go get into rollicking adventures. Way cooler than the work-a-day grind if you ask me.