Dudes who Look at 8-Month Pregnant Women on the Bus and don't Let them Have their Seat are Living Life on their Own Terms

"Ummmm, do you think you could maybe move your giant stomach away from me so I can fully open my newspaper? You see, standing there because you have no seat, is causing your baby-filled gut to encroach upon my newspaper reading space, which really sucks for me because then I can't extend my arms fully, and then the paper kind of kinks in the middle, and it just isn't as enjoyable to read that way. So if you could try and press into the crowd on either side of you, or at minimum turn around so that your stomach isn't right in front of me, that would be great. Thing is I was out kind of late last night, and I like to read the paper on the bus when that happens, takes my mind off my discomfort. And you're sort of, well not really sort of but more like completely ruining that for me. So if you would be so kind as to take your pregnant ass and move it away from me I would really appreciate that. I mean its okay if you are pregnant, but it is a bit rude that you stand here on the bus carrying two separate bags and just get in my way while I'm sitting down and trying to read the synopsis in the Red Eye of Bristol Palin's baby-daddy problems. And while we're at it, why do you keep looking at me with that sad assed face? Just smile. And quit sweating. That is pretty gross too. If everything sucks this bad, maybe you should have just used a condom, you know? How about this: Just move over and stand in front of this elderly lady sitting next to me. She isn't reading anything. Although I wish she'd just stand up altogether, because I can't stretch my arms out sideways either."