We're Taking this Pig Global

That's right bitches, What Sucks Now is headed over to the World Wide Web (located in a bunker somewhere on Al Gore's property) in the very near future.  Only problem, some dick hole already owns www.whatsucksnow.com.  And yes I could buy it.  However, it appears it is some Internet squatter scumbag, and honestly I don't want to pay such slime, thus vindicating what they do, even if it is only $100.  So this presents a conundrum.  To be honest, I was never thrilled with the title "What Sucks Now".  It was hastily named because I was creating the blog, and it said "What is the title?".  Well asshole, I hadn't gotten that far.  And on that day, I was so pissed off about that stupid publicity whore Abby Sunderland and her scum family, that I just said "God, she sucks!" and bada bing, bada boom, there's your name.  And for all you Internet historians out there, "Abby Sunderland Sucks" is Blog 1 in the annals of WSN.  So I'm considering a total overhaul here.  That is where readership comes into play.  Anyone with a rad idea, use the little Comment button and make a suggestion.  And when I start making $5.00 per year off of this site, I'll give you $0.00 of it.  Deal?  Done.  Obviously there have to be a few guidelines:

It can't be complicated.  So while www.adamsapplecheckeratabangkokwhorehouse.com is both creative and fucking hilarious, it is a bit too much work. 

Obviously I don't have a clean mouth.  But it has to be clean(ish).  People don't want www.gofuckyourselfasshole.com showing up in the Google search history on their company's computer.  Totally lame, but I guess that is business for you. 

Anybody that responds with anything with the word "midget" in it is banned for life.  Persona non gratis.  You are an Un-Person, ala Lenin when he found out Trotsky had betrayed him. 

Unfortunately www.bigdickdaddyfromcincinnati.com is already taken.  Yes, I checked.  And whoever scooped that one up....savvy move kemosabe. 

My first name is in play.  My last name is not.  I don't want any respectable members of my family to be sullied by such nonsense.  I don't need my little brother to be 4/5 of the way through the interview process only to have the employer ask "Are you related to this asshole?"

I've considered a Conan the Barbarian related theme, such as www.cromscorner.com, www.valorpleasescrom.com or www.riddleofsteel.com.  And I think those are viable.  My only concern is that the site become heavily trafficked by comic book nerds who quickly click away the first time there is a reference to sex or drinking a beer.