Internet "Security Checks" Suck

I don't get it.  Like if your cpu is hacked, and someone is trying to buy some tickets to a monster truck rally on Ticketmaster, or post the blog you just wrote to your Facebook page, this is going to stop them dead in their tracks?  Are you telling me that if some computer programmer cum internet wizard has the skills to intercept your internet session, they are going to see this and scream, "Fuck!  I can't read!  Or type!"  And the words/symbols they use....are you fucking kidding me?  Our example to the left is actually an outlier in that it comes within a mile of rational.  I guess I understand a Gnarled Ambassador.  I'm pretty sure when Jimmy Carter sent his drunk redneck brother to Africa to represent America, it was as a "Gnarled Ambassador".  However, much more frequently the letters run together and appear so faded and hazy, that you have to make a best efforts guess at what the hell it actually says.  Yesterday afternoon was my breaking point.  I promise you I am not making this up.....There was a barely legible nonsensical word on the left, which is par for the course.  However, on the right were Chinese language characters.  And don't anyone ask, "Was it Mandarin or Cantonese?", because I don't fucking know.  Well guess what Internet, I think I'll go with "Try different words", because last I checked my Mac which I purchased here in the United States, DOESN'T HAVE FUCKING CHINESE CHARACTERS ON IT.  Who knows, it probably does contain a program whereby you can type in Chinese, but given there are about 5,000+ characters in their language, I might have to clear up my schedule for a few days to sort through them all to match with the Security Check.  And I sure as shit am not going to "Try an audio captcha", not now, not fucking ever.  What the shit is an audio captcha?  These programming nerds need to be put in their place, stat.  Quit making up bullshit words like captcha and just call it something that makes sense to those living outside The Matrix, like "audio recording".  Seriously, fuck The Matrix for emboldening these assholes.  Who knows, maybe this was an actual joke, and a couple of dudes named Kushbandalianapoor and Zhiang Qian wearing Teva sandals and navy blue dress socks under their desks in Silicon Valley were watching me get meat-head pissed at a computer through my laptop's camera and IM'ing laughter emoticons to one another, even though they sit next to each other and have no divider wall.  I'm going to laugh my ass off when the Tea Party starts WW III and after the armageddon these dickholes are all back in their mom's basement on public assistance.  Gnarled Ambassador....I'll give you Gnarled Ambassador!