I coulda fuckin' done that. Yep, gonna be the asshole that looks at something someone else has already done, and then say I could have done it. You may say that is bitter or disingenuous, or whatever the fuck you want to say. But deep down in places you don't want to talk about you need me to say shit like that. You need some salty asshole who is worth $40 bucks to bitch about people who are worth $40 million bucks and claim he could have done what they did, only a cunt hair better than they actually did it. So here you are, I'm saying it: "I could have written that book, and it would have been more irreverent and funnier". And because it was more irreverent it would have never worked and like 14 of my asshole frat buddies would have said it was the funniest fuckin' thing since that hooker we accidentally decapitated on Spring Break, but it wouldn't have even sniffed the dirty used condoms in the dumpster behind the publishing house that refused to read the piece of shit. And that is why Adam Mansbach is lighting his cigars with $50's right now, and I'm sucking hind tit writing pro bono for the fucking Internet. So what do you want me to write? CPR manual with transvestite heroin addicts instead of dummies? Coffee table book about a primitive hierarchical monkey society predicated upon butt-fucking? Name it fuckers, I'm full of shit and ready to start stackin' that paper.
Well clearly there's a market for this... certainly a clever series of some sort would pique some publisher's interest somewhere. *avc*
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