It's a CELEBRATION Bitches!!!

I got my double beer helmet, my beer bong, my bong bong, my money boxers, pocket full 'o Magnums, rohypnol, "Who Farted?" t-shirt, and you fucking well know I pre-gamed!  Wait, what the fuck are we celebrating?  I'll tell you what we're celebrating: The official 10,000th page view of What Sucks Now.  You're goddamned right son, 10,000 page hits and counting (and I waited to post this until we were safely past 10,000 enough to ensure that I wasn't counting my own page views).  I still remember when this was a rinky dink little blog that no one read.  And now it is a rinky dink blog that a few, but not many, more people read.  How exciting!  I've decided, in honor of this momentous occasion, to open up the floor for questions from the readers to ask our reclusive blogger.  So without further pomp and circumstance:

Q: Why do you write this blog?
A: Because I'm fucking awesome.  Next question.

Q: How much money do you make from writing this blog?
A: Not one red fucking cent.  Isn't that brilliant.  I spend hours of free time to entertain barely anyone, and I do it pro bono.  Isn't that genius???

Q: Why do you piss away some of the best years of your life chasing money in an industry you have no skill set for, and yet not make much money, when you could do something you love and are proficient at and still not make much money?
A: That is a valid question, and here is the answer: Go fuck yourself.

Q: Would you have ever launched this non-profit, time-suck of a blog, without the persistent, always positive encouragement of your pal Andi?
A: More than likely not.  I would have continued to labor through angst-filled internal dialogues in the shower and silent tirades on the bus each day until eventually I had an early stroke due to the lack of outlet for my shitty attitude.  So Andi, this Bud Light Lime's for you!

Q: How does your family feel about you tossing away valuable time each week writing to dead air?
A: Oddly, my wife is all for it.  She laughs at child molester and fart humor.  We probably wouldn't be married if she didn't.  Luckily my daughter isn't old enough yet to realize how sad it is, and know that she isn't getting a BMW for her Sweet 16 party.  Scout is an attention whore, and so long as I'm keeping him in lights, he'll abide.

Q: Are you like the first person in the world to come up with the idea to start a blog?
A: Yes, but like all pioneers languishing in obscurity, some imitator assholes end up with all the glory.

Q: Do you mostly write drunk?
A: Not nearly as often as you think.

Will we ever get to 20,000 page hits, or am I going to focus my energy on something that actually earns money for my family?  Who knows, with an entrepreneurial mind like this, anything is possible.  For now, thanks for reading.