Are they Fucking Kidding Me with this College Tuition Shit?

I started some research this week into savings options for my 6 week old kid's college education, which will commence (of course barring some armpit hair hippy leftist rebellion of "I'm not going to college") in 2029. I did some projections of what tuition might cost 18 years into the future. Here is what I found: Go Fuck Yourself. You can talk to the hand, because the face ain't talkin' no more. All projections point to mid-range 4 year university tuition (unless of course my gal takes a Victory Lap 5th year like Da-Da) in the neighborhood of $50Billion. Well guess what? I'll show them by not even saving for it. Not one fucking dime. Instead I'm buying her a sweet soccer ball, a violin made from rare teak and strung with endangered Siberian tiger ligaments, and an abacus. Best to level-set her early and explain that she'd better kick, bow those strings, or mathlete her way into a full-ride....or be prepared to cook french fries. Because I don't see the point in even trying to pay for that bonkers bullshit. Besides what do you need college for anyway? I went there, and I want to jerk the car into a goddamn bridge abutment every morning on the way to work. If one of these scholarship-winning activities doesn't take it isn't a big deal. Like Judge Smails said, "The world needs ditch-diggers too".