I'm Huge in Slovenia

I'm going to be like fucking Hasselhoff in Japan or Germany. Fucking off the meat hook in Slovenia brah. Just crushing ass all over Slovenia. How do I know? I was checking the Stats on this blog (I just discovered this, after a full year+. No secret that I'm not the most net savvy kid on my block) and checked page views by country. 10 (yes, TEN) page views from Slovenia. BOOM! Let's say for the sake of argument that it was actually like 7 different people. I'm assuming one person has a slow modem because Slovenia is still in the 19th century and therefore accidentally clicked on the site 4 times before it loaded. But still, at 7 different Slovenians I'm at like 28% of the total population of the country following WhatSucksNow. If the Minister of Cultural Affairs wants to get in touch with me and fly me in (or pay for a European equivalency of a Greyhound bus ticket, and then have me picked up by a dude with an ox cart at the Slovenia bus depot) for a live show, I'm all ears. I'll even wear some sort of old timey pointed hat, because I think that is what you're into. I'm assuming everything over there looks exactly like this picture. So holla at me Slovenia, you've made it loud and clear that you want to be in the ZSG business.