Chicagoans Who Contribute Nothing to the Blizzard Clean-Up Efforts Should Keep Bitching About it

The most productive and reasonable place to bitch about how other people are doing their jobs is from inside your own well-heated house or condo. It was a big goddamned blizzard, what exactly in the fuck do you want? People were out all day before the blizzard. They were out at night during the blizzard. They worked through the entire night as the blizzard raged its tits off. They've been working ever since. These people were trudging through thigh-high snow and at times 70mph winds to clear your streets, return your power, keep your fat lazy white asses happy. Shit happens. Hard to "work faster" when you've got wind-blown powder clogging every function of your existence. This isn't like Hurricane Katrina when GW/Cheney and their assclown evil posse didn't even make a best-efforts attempt at helping anyone (possibly because they were all brown, had no money, and didn't vote). They worked their asses off and continue to do so. "But the city was not prepared! Waaahhhh!". Do you know why the city was not prepared? Because a blizzard of this magnitude happens on average about once every 20 years. Why the fuck would they be prepared? The state and the city have massive budget deficits, so why would they set aside extra money for something that never happens? And unless there is a Big-Assed Fuck You Thundersnow Blizzard Force Field we can put around the entire city, what exactly do you do to prevent this? What do you do to mitigate the damage, beyond running snow plows 24 hr/day, every fucking day? What more do you want? Should they deliver cookies and beer to your family while they plow? The warnings were not only abundant, but could be easily deciphered by any mildly-retarded 3rd grader: You Are About To Get A Shitstorm Straight Up Your Asshole, Stay The Fuck Inside. The television, the radio, the Internet and the print media were all agreeing that you should take cover ASAP and not come out until well after its over. So what do people do? They go outside and drive around even though they have nothing important to do and are sorry sacks of shit whose lives are worth dick. Then they whine like little bitches when Superman doesn't show up 20 seconds later to bail them out of their own stupidity. People bitching about how the city handled the "rescue" of motorists stranded during the Lake Shore Drive shutdown should be lined up and marched at gunpoint off a pier into frozen Lake Michigan. LSD was a clusterfuck of snow and wrecked vehicles, so they shut it down. You were stupid enough to be driving to begin with. Secondly the city said loud and clear to stay away from the lake at all costs. So you are driving 50 feet from the lake. Fucking genius. Does the city have an abandoned warehouse on LSD, chock full of snowmobiles and a special swat team, coked up and waiting for the moment when an historic blizzard shuts down the drive and strands motorists? You got rescued, eventually. No one was hurt, other than some massive vaginal hemorrhaging from whiners. People acted like they were stranded on a one-lane road at 17,000 feet in the Himalayas. For those not familiar with the topography of downtown Chicago, LSD borders the entire lake front population of Chicago. If you don't like being stuck in your car during a blizzard, try this high-risk escape route: Open your car door; walk 50 feet across the snow on a road that is closed to vehicle traffic because of the blizzard; walk 30 feet across Inner Lake Shore Drive; walk into a bar; walk into a restaurant; walk into a Starbucks; knock on someone's door; call a relative; fucking walk home; lay down on the ground shit yourself to death. It wasn't snowing arrows or bullets or gasoline and torches....it was snowing snow. Zip up your jacket, tie your booties tight, and walk like your forefathers would have. If that doesn't appeal to your lazy ass, then don't bitch when someone "rescues" you. Even worse are the assholes who neither rescued any one, nor were stranded, but rather complaining about the rescue effort they were not in any way a part of. What the fuck do you care? No one calls you up at your job as housewife and tells you how to watch Oprah. And finally, the fucktards saying Mayor Daley "wasn't visible enough during the storm". Fucking laughable, mein! Do you think Daley works the switchboard at snowplow central command? Do you think Daley flies over LSD in a special Thundersnow-retardant helicopter, directing the rescue effort? Daley was knee-deep in rare steak, rarer wine, cocaine and Ukrainian hookers during that blizzard. And if you don't like it, then become Richard M. Daley yourself and do whatever you want. Dick Daley does what what he likes and Dick Daley likes what he do. So go make yourself visible right in front of a CTA train, and die.
I say bravo to all who participated in the clean up and rescue efforts as I sat in my heated condo and watched safely from the window. Everyone else can kiss your hairy fucking beanbag.