Asian Dude Straight RAKING at XSport Fitness this Morning

I was strolling past the aerobics room this morning which is typically kept dark until classes start around 7:00 a.m. People generally use the room for stretching and various self-directed routines until this time. So you can accurately say I was a bit surprised by what I saw today: An Asian dude coiled like a fucking cobra with a softball bat, waiting to unload on a non-existent pitcher and a ghost softball. And then he uncoiled. We're all lucky there was no ball, field, or other players. None of these people, places or things would have survived that moon-shot. I was completely mesmerized. Cat was taking solo batting practice, in a gym, in a dark room, with no pitcher or ball. That is so fucking badass I almost shit my pants. I hope people stayed the fuck out of his way, too. He was so focused on beer-league greatness this summer. So focused in fact, that he was wearing headphones. So he was swinging a real softball bat, hard as fuck, in a dark room full of girls stretching, and couldn't hear anything outside his headphones. And you just know he had some Michael Jackson cued up aggressively loud in his iPod too. This mutherfucker is going to own your sorry ass this summer in Grant Park. It is going to be a straight-up laser show and my man Wang is the fucking star. Deal with it. Just to leave no doubt about how serious he was, dude was decked-out in a teal colored tee shirt which read "I'MMA SHAKE IT TIL MY HIPS BREAK". Game, set, match. While you are home in your warm bed sleeping, homeboy is in the gym getting better. Remember that when his frozen rope goes sailing over your head in June.