Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Season Premier of "The Biggest Loser" Tonight!
And it doesn't matter who wins, because you're all still fucking losers. These are truly some of the most miserable pieces of shit our planet has to offer. I would love the shit out of this show if they got these heifers together and force-marched them through the deep south, depriving them of food and encouragement. March until everyone is dead save one. Then that person gets locked in a cage next to a river subsisting on reeds and rat meat until they have an acceptable BMI. Everyone has some goddamned crybaby story that supposedly justifies their selfishness and lack of will. "My dad was an alcoholic so I ate to cope. Wahhhhhh". "My family was poor and I had to go with my mom to local fraternity houses on the weekend nights and watch her suck frat dick so we could make ends meet. I ate food to forget the laughter of the frat bros as they came. Sniff, snort, blubber, sniff, tears". You have no excuse piggy. You look like a bean bag with eyes because you are weak and lazy. Begin your path to redemption by telling the truth: "I am a fat disgusting fucking pig because I eat like a fat disgusting fucking pig". The only worthwhile person on this show is Jillian because she sees through these piles of fluffer nutter's bullshit and tells them everything they don't want to hear: "You are fat because you are a coward." "Your personality is repellent and people despise you." "You can finish the mile out because I have the treadmill set to 4.5 and you aren't a quadriplegic." I do not watch this show for stories of personal triumph. Rather I watch for the same reason Nascar fans watch the race. I want to see a hideous 11-car pile-up with much mutilation.
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Lets just say it. What is it that "fat" really is? It literally is the manifestation of weakness, sloth and a quality I like to call "I'm a nasty pig." When I was a fat-body I remember being weak, never making the right choices. Those choices were not all about food as well. If work needed to be done, I didn't do it. If someone needed help I would not help. If life put me in a situation where I needed to stand up I sat down promptly and ate Oreo cookies. You see, the fat on ones back, stomach and belly tell you that the person is of weak moral fiber and is selfish to a fault. Fat people will not help you, they will let you down. They cannot be counted on and are incapable of putting anyone's needs before theirs. This is fact.
ReplyDeleteFat people are hated because they are the worst of us.