Friday, September 24, 2010

I've Heard there are People who don't Like "The Town"

Those people should really be spending their time trying to erase the encyclopedia of kiddie porn they have stored on their hard drive (and please remember to empty the recycle bin) before the Feds arrive with a warrant. Unless you are Pete Townsend and are just doing research to try and find a way to stop child pornography, they'll put your ass in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison for that shit. Trying to convince people to be joyless losers who do nothing but bitch like 14 year old girls such as yourself, and not appreciate the wicked awesomeness of this movie is a sad waste of time. This movie is ball-rattlingly good, and this is why:

-Afflek is back. Believe it.
-Jeremy Renner is proving himself a very convincing crazy and bad mutherfucker.
-Blake Lively is hot. Even as a drug-addled whore with a Charlestown accent.
-Gratuitous use of a David Ortiz RBI highlight
-Fenway Park
-Over-the-top Bahston accents
-Lack of Jack Nicholson running around playing a bad parody of himself and ruining an otherwise brilliant movie
-Car chases up your ass
-Loud assed fucking machine guns
-Did I mention Blake Lively?

So if someone tells you this movie sucks, just say, "Hey, I understand your dad didn't take it well when you told him you were gay. But that has nothing to do with Ben Afflek or The Town. He'll come around eventually."

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