Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Mark My Words: "The Braylon Edwards Story" will End in Tears


Braylon Edwards is an egomaniacal, selfish asshole whose brain is incapable of processing abstract concepts such as "Others" or "Consequences". He cannot compute simple mathematical calculations like "This action + this action could = negative outcome". In today's professional sports environment people like him are a dime a dozen. But I have a gut feeling on this one. He's going to cause some very serious emotional distress for someone, a group of people, possibly even an entire team's fan base. He is big and strong and fast and could be an elite receiver. He never will be though, because he has zero heart, doesn't give a shit about anyone outside of himself and loves to drop passes. He was out drinking with Donte Stallworth in 2009 the night before Stallworth ran over a guy while driving drunk, and killed him. Most of us would look at that experience and say "Wow, I'm a rich guy with plenty of options outside of driving drunk and killing an innocent dude". Not this Class 1AA Asshole. Take a cab, dick. Hire a fucking driver. Also in the car when Edwards was pulled over were Jets players D'Brickashaw Ferguson and Vernon Gholston. Together these three morons are probably worth about a quarter of a billion dollars. They could have hired David Hasselhoff to drive them around in Kitt all night if they wanted (Assuming they were paying in cash, not sure the Hoff has any bank accounts left). I'm worth about a quarter of a thousand dollars and I know to call a cab if I'm hammered. Not Braylon. He's gonna drive. And if he kills someone, he doesn't give a fuck. That's their problem.


As a side note I was thoroughly disappointed when the Browns drafted this dickhole. I told everyone I talked to about it that I hoped they didn't. I was in attendance at the Ohio State versus Michigan game in 2004 in Columbus. Michigan had a highly ranked team which included Edwards. Ohio State was in the midst of a bad season and was starting a lot of young players. Edwards was considered one of the best WRs in the country at the time. I watched him get shut the fuck down by Ashton Youboty who was a sophomore corner back. He dropped balls and sulked like a little bitch. He didn't rise to anything and instead sat on the bench between series with an "I don't give a flying fuck" look on his face. I thought he was a pussy then, and he is a confirmed pussy now.

1 comment:

  1. He was an asshat early on at U-M, had a "come to Jesus" moment with Carr, and fooled a lot of people into believing that he had grown out of his asshattery just because he could physically dominate 95% of college cornerbacks. An asshat does not change his stripes.

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