If You Practice Witchcraft, May Want to Cancel Your Trip to Saudi Arabia

Consider this a public service announcement for all the young ladies considering a nice relaxing vacation in Saudi Arabia.  Leave your Necromancy books at home and do not make any public jokes which involve straddling a broom handle.  Apparently the Saudis don't have a laissez faire attitude on that sort of shit, given that they very recently beheaded some chick for practicing witchcraft and sorcery.  Who knew?  When I think of Saudis, the words which come to mind are "moderate", "reasonable", "tolerant" and "Bob Marley".  But I guess Salem Witch Trial jokes don't go over so well in Riyadh.  Check your luggage, and if there is anything, anything at all, in your toiletries bag which contains newt in any form, leave that shit at home.  Even if it is synthetic newt derivative and no newts were actually harmed in the manufacture of, just to be safe don't bring it to Saudi Arabia.  I would also advise anyone with a wart on their nose to consider the removal of said wart prior to leaving for Saudi Arabia.  If you own a tall, black conical hat, I would also suggest not packing it.  If your skin is greenish you may want to give up on your dream of seeing this mysterious, flat desert scape.  It just isn't worth it.  Because while the Saudis may tolerate blowing things containing numerous human beings to hell, they sure as shit don't fucking tolerate putting a hex on your neighbor because his dog shits in your sand.  It is well known that a Saudi death sentence for "Witchcraft" is actually their way of silencing political dissent.  But are we splitting fucking hairs here or what?  "Political dissent" and "Sorcery" are basically the same thing.  Can you explain the difference between the two Larry Liberal?  Didn't think so.  No one tells you how to wear your Teva sandals, so quit trying to tell the Saudis the best way to get people to shut their fucking mouths.  If you ask me, dragging a person into a public square and having a masked man force them to their knees and chop their fucking head off with a goddamn sword is a pretty good deterrent to suggesting that women be allowed to show some ankle or wrist at a restaurant.