Do Native Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving?

I really don't know. Do they? If they don't, then they sure as shit should. If not, then I guess they're with the terrorists. That original Thanksgiving was such a sweetheart deal for them I can't even stand it. The Pilgrims bent over and took one in the ass on that trade, and the Indians gave them a reach-around with a sandpaper glove. The natives welcomed the Pilgrims with a feast of local produce and wild game, of which they were previously ignorant and risked starving to death without the knowledge of. To repay the Native Americans the Pilgrims offered very generous gifts of:

Forcing them off their historic lands through violence

Pestilence and disease

The concept of greed

Raping of their women

Theft of land through alcohol intoxication, of which they were previously ignorant

Loss of their cultural identity

Poverty

Starvation

Mass genocide in the name of a god that they didn't even believe in

Mascot representation for American sports teams

So they had better well goddamned celebrate Thanksgiving because they obviously cleaned house on that day. It is like the time I traded the Billy Ripken "Fuck You Bat" to one of my dipshit buddies for a Michael Jordan rookie card. In summation, the Native Americans got raped, got alcoholism, live in squalor in marginal lands no one else wants, got diabetes, got wiped the fuck off the face of the earth, got some sweet beads and shells....and all they had to give up in return was some food, a little wacky tobacky and some knowledge on how to grow local and organic. So pass me some turkey and be thankful, Keemohsaabe.