Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Here's to Wishing Terrelle Pryor the Worst Life has to Offer



Terrelle Pryor arrived at Ohio State Football one of the most highly touted recruits in history, for any school. He leaves a pariah. As Lenin once said after betrayed by Trotsky, "You are an un-person". Not only self-absorbed to an extreme, Pryor was also about as sharp as a greased bowling ball. After getting a beloved coach fired for protecting his stupid ass, he flees the scene like the principle-less pussy that he is. I sincerely hope that someday, after spending his NFL bonus and all paychecks on ice and rims until he owes money all the fuck over town, and his dead-end career flounders because people finally realize he can't throw a football off the Santa Monica Pier and hit water, that he eventually ends up giving hand jobs for cash next to a dumpster behind a Flying J truck plaza on the Pennsylvania turnpike. I cannot think of many other humans who are 6'6", 240lbs, who can run a 4.4 40yd and jump out of a gym. I also cannot think of many dumber than Terrelle. I should have known, after one of his first games when they barely beat Navy and Terrelle was hounded by the media for wearing "Mike Vick" eye black, and answered something to the effect of "Everybody steals, everyone kills people....", that this was destined to end in tears. I just didn't know how tearful the end would be. Like Old Yeller sad. I can't wait to see his scores on the Wonderlic test for NFL quarterbacks. I'd bet on a well-trained Labrador retriever to score higher. So congratulations TP. You bankrupted a program likely leading to probation, you got a local icon sent packing, and you won zero national titles. Good luck making reads on a Bill Belichek or Rex Ryan defense. And if you ever find yourself in the open field against Baltimore, I hope 'Ol Murderin' Ray Lewis "sweeps the leg".

1 comment:

  1. Not only is this guy a moron, but also a complete sociopath whose radius of giving a fuck extends exactly 0 ft from his own self in all directions. The Saskatchewan Rough Riders have acquired his negotiating rights should he choose to go to the CFL...I daresay Regina is too good for this asshole. He should be forced to spend the rest of his career north of the Arctic Circle, tossing wobbly passes to harbor seals and trying to get hookups from the local Inuits.

    I am so glad he didn't end up at Michigan. This is like finding out the hot chick you unsuccessfully made a play at has a screaming case of herpes. You're not overly shocked since she always seemed like a slut, but you can't help but feel you dodged a bullet.

    NP

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