The Secret Service Sex Scandal has Me Puzzled

If what I am understanding is correct...If you are in the U.S. Secret Service, while on assignment you canNOT have sex with Colombian prostitutes.  So what is the fucking point of being one?  What the hell am I missing here?  Am I dense or something?  I could have sworn that nailing Colombian pros was part of the basic job description.  If this is somehow frowned upon-no wait-prohibited, then I'm crossing "Secret Service" off my second career list.  BORING.  May as well join the fuckin' Peace Corps.  I'm so goddamn sick of this hypocritical, Puritan fucking bullshit that I want to puke.  This is beyond ludicrous:

1.  You can bomb, shoot, occupy, pillage and rape any country you want, so long as it is in the name of "defeating terrorism" or "fighting oppression" or any other bullshit vague and ambiguous line of reasoning.  We'll sign off on that shit. 

2. If you travel to another country, with your free time you cannot bang whores.  We'll force your shit into retirement or outright fire your ass so fast it will make your head spin. 

The moral police flat out suck.  Hypocritical shitheels all the way.  Murder lots of people in the name of "Freedom" = GOOD; Nail chicks in the name of being a drunk dude with a cool job = EVIL.  If anything the lack of sexual tension would result in all these guys having a clear head to protect the POTUS with the following day.  If you can't have sex with prostitutes anymore, then what type of people are you going to attract to the Secret Service?  NERDS, that's who.  And if I'm the POTUS, I don't want to trust my life to a bunch of NERDS. 

By the way, I know that somewhere in this story, the real story, Slick Willie had to have made an appearance.  No one is banging whores in the name of the executive branch of the United States on Slick's watch, without him being in the game.